The Sketchiest Gal in All of Kaysville

Whoa, it's been a long time. Hello world of the blogs! Remember me? I don't know why I haven't posted in so long, my shenanigans are by no means at an end. A couple weeks ago while I was baking I turned to Brad and said, "Hey honey, I haven't made a big mistake while cooking in a while!" And then I left the cookies in the oven for about an hour...

Oh, yeah... And this gem of a key lime pie. That worked out well.  Not really.

This summer we are again back in Farmington. This time we had connections (Thanks Brecklyn and Bruce!) and were able to find a studio apartment that would rent to us for just four months. There are lots of great things about our studio apartment:

1) Murphy bed! There's nothing quite as exciting as wondering if you're going to fold up into the wall as you sleep.

2) Vacuuming takes about three seconds! There's probably 10 sq. feet of carpet not covered by our furniture or our laundry (which reveals the mountain of laundry I need to haul over to my parents).

3) Only four dark scary corners! One night when Brad was camping and I was home alone, I came home at midnight after watching a movie. It was very dark, empty, and creepy but it didn't take any time at all to check all the potential hiding places for murderers. Heck, we don't even have a shower curtain! Count your many blessings.



This summer we have happily gained a new family member, the most beautiful baby nephew in the world.

I'm not kidding you, this kid is advanced. I mean I don't actually know anything about child development, but I'm convinced his smiling ability is above average.

Sorry about the quality of this picture of my sister, but M's annoyance at the abundance of kisses from his teenage aunt was too good to pass up.

And we happily/sadly/proudly (there are lots of mixed emotions here) lost our sister Teresa to do missionary work in Indiana. Before she left we celebrated by doing all the sketchy things you can do in Kaysville, UT. We started out at Beto's, that hub of Mexican food that will leave you in the bathroom for days.

Teresa just could not handle the spicy.

Brad, Teresa, and I all ordered the chile verde pork burrito. Sounds great, right? No. I am a girl who likes her spicy food. I can handle quite a bit. But that burrito was the spiciest thing I have ever partaken. Within two bites my face was covered in snot and tears running without control. I didn't even know my face contained that much liquid. We all ended up jealous of Heidi's plain ol' bean and cheese burrito monstrosity.

Our next stop was Family Dollar, where we bought our washable tattoos. Let me tell ya, Bradley was pretty attractive with Cinderella on his bicep.

Brad ponders the irony of Family Dollar selling cigarettes for more than a dollar.

We played a hilarious game called, "Who can find the awkwardest thing in the store?"

Brad's nomination for "Who can find the awkwardest thing in the store?" Cream deodorant called "Tussy."

Heidi's nomination for "Who can find the awkwardest thing in the store?" The pushiest-up bra I've ever seen. No one really wanted to model this one.

Our next stop was the sketchiest place in the whole town; Cosmos Video. Possibly the only place in Kaysville that actually reeks of smoke, the lighting is so dim you actually have to squint to see the movie titles.

We rented Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. Sketch, I know. We actually ended up watching an edited version of The Hangover, which truly is about as sketchy as I get.

Heidi found a hole in the fence between Cosmos and the bank next door. It being sketchy night, she couldn't resist.

Now, you may bask in your jealousy of the Clawson's. We know how to party. And how to overuse the word "sketchy."

The Top 9 Reasons January Is Ruining My Life

Winter has always been one of my favorite times of year. The snow, sitting inside with a thick quilt and a good book, Christmas, skiing, there are so many wonderful things about it. But not this year. The cold is ruining my life. I'm convinced of it. For example:

1. Do you know what mice like to do when it gets cold? Move into poor, unsuspecting couple's basement and eat them out of house and home. Okay, just a graham cracker box and a bag of pancake flour, but still. Mice bring disease, too.

2. There's nothing that is quite so romantic as your husband screaming and jumping away from you when you touch his face because your hands are too cold. Even footsie has been banished until Spring. My feet are too cold, even with socks.

3. Winter makes me look and feel fat. Thanks Christmas for putting on those few pounds that make my clothes uncomfortable. And then I have to layer clothes like I'm an onion and my husband tells me I look like a babushka. His compliments keep getting more and more creative.

4. Inversions make me really, really sick. The only thing that really helps is my handy-dandy inhaler, except I didn't realize I was accidentally using an old one that expired in 2010. I used it for three days before noticing the expiration date. I'm just going to blame that idiocy on the lack of oxygen to my brain.

5. Speaking of inversions and how sick I've been, my orchestra conductor has scheduled a performance of Rite of Spring next month. There's nothing like atonal music, harsh repeated rhythms, ritual sacrifice, and death to go with a headache.

6. All these things put me in a very negative mood. I realized this the other day when I was sitting in my Music History class and I had to restrain myself from turning around and chastising the guy behind me for being too enthusiastic. The story may be interesting but the constant "Ooh, that's so interesting," is just brown-nosing. Come on, it's too cold to be happy!

7. The cold has kept me from achieving my New Years Resolution of getting in shape. It is just too frigid to drive to the heated gym.

8. Ice on the inside of the windows of your apartment. I thought basements were supposed to be insulated.

9. Pulling a nice, fresh, clean pair of socks out of the dryer and they're even colder than your nearly frostbitten toes.

All this considering, maybe this was the wrong month to devour 850 pages of Tolstoy.

There are a few things good about the last month.

1. The third floor of the engineering building has a beautiful view when there has been freezing rain and people have a tendency to fall on their rears while walking to their classes. I don't even know why people pay for Netflix.

2. Brad's sweatshirt is incredibly comfortable. I wear it every time I get sick. I'm sure he loves that.

3. Hubert. Hubert is my space heater. We are very good friends and we get to spend so much time together this time of year.

4. Realizing that I do indeed have the best husband in the world. He scrapes the windshield, changes the air filter, makes me soup, holds my hand when I am coughing up a chest full of mucus (was that a gross enough image?), takes me ice skating, makes fun of me when I get too self-conscious about the way I look, buys me new nail polish just to make me feel pretty, does the dishes, brings me Hubert and a blanket every time I shiver, and laughs at all my jokes. Take that married girls! My man's the best one. I love being the best, or in this case, having the best.

5. My new blender Brad gave me for Christmas provides all the vitamin C I've been getting lately. I don't know if I really love smoothies or if I just love watching my insanely talented blender obliterate everything I chuck inside it. The brand is called Ninja for goodness' sakes. That fruit and ice never stood a chance.

6. I really do love winter sports. Even ice-skating, which is sissier than my other favorites, but still fun. But no one will ever know how much fun we have when we go because there is no one to take our picture and we're really bad at taking our own pictures. Case in point:

This is why people double-date.