Luckily, that hasn't happened. My mother loves me too much. But I've done some stupid things thus far.
When Squeaky girl was 3 days old we took her to the doctor's office for the first time. Did you know that you have to strip your child completely naked so they can weigh her? Yup, that happens. Do you know what happens when a three day old child feels a cool breeze on her bare behind? Yes, she pees. She pees everywhere, all over the table and her pajamas and her mother's hands. It was the very first time we had taken her anywhere and in my foolishness, I didn't think that I needed an extra outfit for a 15 minute doctor's appointment. Brad arranged her swaddling blanket around her like a toga and we took her home. I took my three day old baby home, in a Logan January, with no more clothing than a Greek Goddess.
She was not impressed.
In general, we have learned that we need to be careful when there is not a diaper on her behind. There was that time in the first week that she managed to spray so hard she hit the closet door from the changing table.
She thinks she's hilarious. A sneaky one, this girl of mine.
About a month ago we were at church with my family. I stood up carrying Squeaky, Brad grabbed the car seat, and my sister, Lauren, offered to carry the diaper bag for us. She left with the bag and told us she'd meet us at home. That's when we realized there was poop all over Squeaky's back, and we had nothing to fix it. Luckily, my sister Brecklyn was still there and loaned us her two year old's diaper. It may have covered more than her swaddle toga.
Wind.
We took her on a picnic and she screamed and screamed and screamed. We spent a half an hour changing her diaper, feeding her, offering her pacifiers, books, blankets, and toys until we realized that all she wanted was to be in her stroller out of the gentle breeze. I guess when you're about 2 feet long it doesn't take much to take your breath away.
Anyway, we are starting to figure things out. Everyone always asks us, "Is she sleeping through the night yet?" To which I always want to answer, "Of course not. She's a baby! Babies are not capable of a full night! They like to remind their parents that they are not actually in control of their lives." But, in reality, she's doing pretty good. Sometimes, she only wakes up once during the whole night! Of course, sometimes she wakes up 10-12 times, but you know. Progress. Mostly progress. Sometimes progress. We hope.
I told Brad before Squeaky was born that I wanted her to sleep in our room for the first four months. After all, that's what my parents always did. It would be easy to get to her for midnight feedings, and I would be able to listen to her breathing. It sounded sweet, idyllic, picturesque.
That is until we realized that she cries, laughs, snores, coughs, hiccups, and makes any noise imaginable in her sleep, (this is why we call her Squeaky) and it is impossible to sleep through. One night when she was about three weeks old, after a particularly amazing 1 1/2 hour of sleep, I got up to feed Amelia, and her bassinet wasn't there. After going through several terrifying scenarios in my head, I found her in her bassinet in the hallway. Brad couldn't take it anymore and had moved her far enough away that we wouldn't hear every grunt and squeak and close enough to hear her cry. It changed our lives. We finally started sleeping for two, three hours at a time. A week later, she was in her own room. Not what we imagined, but it's working.
Well, I guess that's it for now, but I have a feeling there will be many more rookie mistakes to come.
